Out-Sourcing the Wife: The Chase

Mail-order brides lie and memorize fantasy love stories to pass immigration
(last in a three-part series)

By Carmela Fonbuena, abs-cbnNEWS.com/Newsbreak | 09/22/2009 9:36 AM
Published on ABS-CBN News Online Beta (http://www.abs-cbnnews.com)

To join her husband in Korea, Aileen needed only a passport and a visa. Just a few days ago, she was married off to Ji-Wong, a Korean more than twice her age, only a day after she was picked among five women in a show-up tour arranged by a marriage broker.

To get a passport, she had to convince government officials that love for her husband was the only reason why she wanted to permanently settle in Korea.

Under the Department of Foreign Affairs Department Orders 28-94 and 11-97, Filipino spouses and other partners of foreign nationals are required to attend a guidance and counseling program—known as the Pre-Departure Orientation Seminar (PDOS), a prerequisite in the issuance of passports.

“PDOS is aimed to prepare Filipinos for the realities of cross-cultural marriages,” Regina Galias, head of the Commission on Filipino Overseas (CFO) Migrant Integration and Education Division, told Newsbreak.

The PDOS had been devolved from the CFO to St. Mary Euphrasia Foundation—Center for Overseas Workers and the People's Reform Inititiative for Social Mobilization Inc (PRISM). After completing the counseling seminar, CFO issues the guidance and counseling certificate that will allow the applicants to get their passports. Then they can apply for a visa. After getting their visa, they need to return to the CFO again to be registered before they exit the country.

PDOS has proven to be a big thorn in the throat of marriage brokers, allowing the Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO) to catch violators of Republic Act 6995 or the Anti-Mail-Order Bride Law and Republic Act 9208 or the Anti-Trafficking in Persons Act.

Republic Act 6955 prohibits matching Filipino women for marriage to foreign nationals on mail-order basis or personal introduction. To go around the law, recruitment agencies take time to coach the brides on what to say during the counseling.

To get the PDOS certificate, Aileen could not reveal that she auditioned to become Ji-Wong’s wife and married him only a day after they met. She also could not say that Ji-Wong promised to send financial support to her family in the Philippines.

Aileen remembers her script. “They told me, if I go to the CFO for interview, I should change my answers. I should tell them I’ve known him for a long time. I was asked to memorize the marriage contract—the address and everything there. (Sinabihan nila ako, pag punta ka ng CFO, iinterviewhin ka. Ibahin mo. Sabihin mo sa kanila matagal mo na kilala. Kabisaduhin mo yung nasa marriage contract. Kung anong address mo. Lahat andyan sa marriage contract.)

A former PDOS counselor herself, Janet Ramos of the CFO anti-human trafficking task force said that some of the brides were very well rehearsed. The unknowing counselor may be easily fooled.

But experienced counselors are able to spot the tell-tale signs. The Guidance and Counseling Form, which spouses fill out before the PDOS, could give them away. The applicants may also slip during interviews.

The application form asks very specific questions on how and where they met their future spouse, if an agency was involved and if fees were collected, questions that can easily trip an uncoached applicant.

Below is a copy of the Guidance and Counseling Form.

How did you meet your present spouse?
( ) Place or work?
( ) Personal introduction
( ) pen-pal/phone pal referred by a relative/friend
( ) Pen-pal through periodicals/magazines/pen-pal column
( ) subscribed to pen-pal club
( ) thru marriage bureau
( ) thru internet
( ) thru other entities (e.g. Church groups)
*If Penpal Club/Marriage bureau/advertisement/Internet/Other Entities, pls specify.
Name of agency/web site _____________________
Address ___________________________________
Amount of fees collected _____________________

Answers in asterisk refer to violations of the anti-Mail Order Bride law

“The PDOS is like marital counseling. Normally, you would discuss about love and your responsibilities as a foreigner's spouse. It's easy to tell when the person is truly in love with the spouse. They can tell you about their first meeting, the first kiss, and even their sex lives,” Ramos said.

“Others just sound rehearsed. When you try another topic, they wouldn't be able to answer it anymore. Even when the questions are just basic,” Ramos added.

Counselor: Ano trabaho ng asawa mo?
Applicant: Salary man po.
Counselor: Ano yung salary man?
Applicant: Basta po may salary sya.

“Others don't even know their husband's surnames, where they live, and his phone number. It means they haven't really known each other that long. It doesn't really tell us that she is a mail order bride right away. It tells us that we need to spend more time on her,” Ramos said.

There are also the buzzwords that slip up during interviews---“manager,” “broker,” “show-up”, and “recruiter,” among others.

Sometimes, the family has to be called to the counseling session.

“We encounter cases where parents don't know about their daughter's marriage to foreign nationals. We witness their confrontations. Others parents are obviously in cahoots with the marriage brokers. They admit that they have been paid,” said Galias.

“They say, ‘Okay na po yun kesa naman nandito lang sa Pilipinas.’ We know their rights. It's a personal choice. But we have to make them understand the realities. What can happen to them? Even when the parents or the mail order bride say they are willing to risk it, our responsibilities don't stop there. We cannot just grant you the certificate if we still don't believe you are ready to settle abroad,” added Galias.

For denying spouses these certificates, CFO officials had been threatened many times. Cops had been brought to their office. They have been threatened with legal cases, too. Once, Galias and Ramos said they were accused of extorting P150,000 from an applicant.

It can get frustrating, they said. “We cannot help them if they don't want us to help them,” Galias said.

When they cannot get around the CFO, marriage brokers present fake certificates to the DFA to get the passports.

“It's been done. We were able to catch one,” said Ramos.

Reluctant from the beginning, Aileen got worried when she saw that they falsified her information in the marriage certificate. “I wondered why I needed to memorize my own address. I knew where I lived. When I looked at the marriage contract, it said I lived in San Juan. But I didn’t live there. Even Ji-Wong’s address was wrong,” said Aileen. (Sabi ko, bakit? Alam ko naman address ko. Yung address ko saka address ng koreano e pagtingin ko sa marriage contract, iba pala. San Juan daw. Hindi naman ako nakatira dun.)

“I got scared. If something happened to me in Korea, my relatives wouldn’t know how to help me (Nung nakita ko yung marriage contract ko na iba, sabi ko, nakakatakot to a. Naisip ko, kapag may nangyari sa akin sa ibang bansa, walang habol mga kamag-anak ko dito),” she added.

Regretting her decision to marry Ji-Wong, Aileen confessed to her counselors that she is a mail order bride. She was immediately referred to Ramos.

With the help of the National Bureau of Investigation (NBI), Aileen’s recruiters were arrested in an entrapment operation in May 2008.

CFO wanted to file trafficking cases against the recruiters for operating a show-up tour, a clear case of exploitation with the intent eventually to commit trafficking but the NBI downgraded it to a mail order bride case.

“There is no exploitation yet. She was able to escape before she was brought abroad and any exploitation was committed against her,” said agent Roland Demetria of the NBI’s Anti-Human Trafficking Division. But Demetria said they have a strong case against her recruiters for violating the anti-Mail Order Bride Law.

Aileen has been approached by the marriage brokers to settle the case. She told Newsbreak she has no plans to give up but her CFO handler, Ivy Miravales, is worried as the case continues to drag at the regional trial court.

Over a year since the case was filed, there have been three scheduled hearings on Aileen’s case. All of them have been postponed for various reasons. The suspects have yet to be arraigned. They are also trying to talk to Aileen to agree to settle the case.

To this day, Aileen’s case is the only case undergoing trial in Philippine courts on the Anti-Mail Order Bride Law and none against mail-order bride operators on RA 9208. Even as matching websites and “show up” tours continue to operate with impunity, the Philippines still has no known conviction under R.A. 6995.

As long as matching remains legal in other countries, it is almost impossible to get these web sites shut down. Laws governing cyberspace remain muddy. Local marriage brokers can use a web host based abroad and argue that Philippine laws do not cover them.

The women are not too willing to file cases against their brokers either. "If we are able to convince them, it’s also difficult to prove that a profit was made by marriage brokers unless you hold an entrapment operation," said Galias.

Getting Filipino mail order brides to understand their predicament and cooperate with the government to arrest their recruiters has proven to be an uphill battle for law enforcers.

“These are innocent girls. They don’t understand what they are putting themselves in. It’s not easy telling them how many mail order brides have been exploited. They thought they can get themselves out of poverty,” Galias said.

In the Philippine context, the mail order bride phenomenon cannot be discussed without touching on the Filipinos’ inclination to equate marrying a foreigner with economic salvation.

"Their desire for economic improvement at all costs leads to the erosion of values regarding marriage and family including the self worth of women. This is exacerbated by the colonial mentality among Filipinos which make them regard foreign lands as the center of golden opportunities," Renato Luz of the Stop Trafficking of Pilipinos (STOP) said.

Then and now, Filipino mail-order brides would try to convince CFO counselors that they are marrying for love. But in the counseling, they will often admit that it is pure and simple economics.

“When you ask them why they married the foreigners, they’d tell you they want to be able to send back money to their families. Most of them are breadwinners," Galias said.

Relationships expert Margie Holmes has words of caution for prospective mail-order brides. "Going to an agent who may not really know the girl and whose only business is to try to facilitate as many relationships as possible is not the way to go," said Holmes.

"Mutual respect is important in a marriage. I think the respect is lost if the man feels that all he has to do is give money and the woman will be his. The woman should not be too desperate. She should also look at his qualities first before she says yes," Holmes said.

Interracial marriages, no matter how long the man and the woman have known each other, are difficult as they already are, she added. The language barrier is usually the initial challenge but later on other racial, cultural and religious disparities becomes issues, too.

“There is always a big potential that our women are abused. The families of the brides are paid, too. That is why they are treated like commodities," she added.

Nevertheless, Holmes acknowledges that that there are happy stories. "The men may be genuinely lonely. Some may also have a friend who had a very happy relationship with a Filipina. I’m sure it’s possible that they fall in love when they come here. I mean most of us are very charming, attractive, and nice. It’s perfectly understandable that in addition to the more suspicious motives, there are actually ideal motives based on love, loneliness, wanting to have a good life and partner," Holmes said.

Understanding and capitalizing on the appeal of the Filipino woman is the main reason many local marriage brokers are able to lure many a hundred foreign men to small Philippine towns to look for future partners.

To the lucky couples, the money was well spent and the risks were worth it. "I think if your intention is right, you can find a good match," said Galias.

“Unfortunately, no matter what scary stories you hear, the story that you believe most is the story that you have personal knowledge of. No matter what stories are in the papers, or what you see on TV, but if you have a friend who’s very happy in a foreign marriage, you tend to believe that more. And it works vice versa. If you have a friend who had a very unpleasant experience that’s what you tend to believe more than the advertisements or whatever that you see in the papers," Holmes explained.

Reports on the success of mail order marriages in the US are varied. According to the 1997 report of the US Immigration and Naturalization Office, "marriages arranged through these services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years."

The percentage was based on data provided by the agencies.

The Purple Rose Campaign paints a different picture. According to its web site, 70 percent of the mail order marriages involving Filipinas in the US resulted in divorce. – Carmela Fonbuena with Victoria Camille Tulad, Newsbreak

Disclaimer: This article was made possible with the generous support of the American people through the United States Department of State Office to Monitor and Combat trafficking in Persons and The Asia Foundation. The contents are the responsibility of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of Department of State of the United States or The Asia Foundation.